Death of original ideas

I was watching TV last night when an advert came on for a new film starring Chris Rock, "Death at a funeral".

After a few seconds I started getting that Deja vu feeling that I'd seen this before then realised that yes, it reminded me of a British film called, erm, let me think, oh yes, "Death at a funeral".

From the preview on the TV it looks like they've remade the film using the exact same script, but replacing the well to do English characters with loud black Americans played by Chris Rock, Tracey Morgan and Danny Glover.

Fair enough, the story could probably do with some updating considering it was originally made way back in 2007. I didn't even realise they had films back then.

What is wrong with American audiences watching a film featuring some new talent they haven't seen before? Is it really worth it to remake the exact same film with a big name to attract the audience?

To be honest, the film wasn't all that great to begin with but I'm sure the remake is nowhere near as good.

Of course its a dead end when you don't want to see what's down that road!

Have you seen the new TV show "Who do you think you are"?

Well, I say new TV show. Its actually been on for years in the UK but they have just made an American version.

The only one we've seen so far featured Emmett Smith, an American football player who played for the Dallas Cowboys.

From the very beginning of the show he was keen to find out where in Africa he was from.

They traced his family back through Alabama and found his great great great great grandmother (or something) and great great great great grandfather.

His great great great great Grandmother did indeed come from Africa so off Emmett took himself to try and find out where she came from.

He found a place where slaves were sold and put on ships to the new world and his search ended here. Emmett was very disappointed that he had met a dead end and couldn't trace his family back any further.

But wait, what about his great great great great Grandfather?

He was white and from Alabama. Surely it would be much easier to trace this side of the family and continue the search?

Sadly this didn't seem to be an option as the show ended in disappointment that there were no records in Africa at the time. There was no further mention of his great great great great Grandfather. I suppose he didn't fit into the humble African beginnings Emmett Smith was looking for.

This whole episode reminded me of a show that was on the History channel last year "The Human Genome Project".

In this show, they took a scraping from the mouth of hundreds of people to trace their ancestry back over thousands of years.

There was one black guy, sorry African American, featured who was really excited to find out how his family left Africa and ended up in the US. Only when the research came back, it hadn't. There was nothing in his DNA that linked his family to Africa. His family actually traced back through Europe.

You could see the disappointment on his face. This guy had probably bored everyone he'd ever known with stories of how he was from Africa without even thinking to look into it and find out for certain.

And while I'm on, is referring to every single black person you encounter as 'African American' not a little bit racist? I know it seems to be the done thing but these types of TV programmes show that that may not be the case.

Actor Sidney Poitier is often referred to as an African American and continuously points out that 'no, actually, my family is from the Bahamas'.

Isn't terming an entire group of people the same regardless of where they are actually from what we were trying to get away from in the first place?

Policeman for hire? How about borrowing a brain for a few days instead??

Isn't it typical how when you're in a rush to get somewhere, it seems that everything in the world conspires to slow you down?

The other day, I needed to get home in a hurry. It was mid-morning so I knew the traffic wouldn't be bad so I went the same way I always go home from work.

Only this time I got to one set of lights on the way and just as the light was about to turn green, a police motorbike turned up with his lights flashing telling everyone to wait.

Next thing, a truck with a cherry picker on the top arrived and stopped in the middle of the road, followed by a truck carrying a very large big thing on the back. There was a man already in the cherry picker and it was his job to lift up any wires that were overhead so the truck could fit under it.

Houston is not a very technologically advanced city, despite being the home of NASA so pretty much every 10 yards there is another set of wires hanging over the road about 15- 20 feet up looking rather dangerous.

Obviously this truck carrying the very large big thing on its back was going exactly the same way I was so while the little man in his cherry picker had to lift all the wires for the truck to fit under, then drive passed the truck to get to the next wire so he could lift that one up too, and so on and so on and fucking on and on while an ever increasing queue of cars on both sides of the road waited for it all to end.

Bloody typical!

And while I'm on, why is it that any one can rent a copper in Houston and they'll gladly stop all other traffic on the roads while they fuck about playing silly beggers?

Surely the policeman should just say "wait a minute, you're thinking of driving that big truck with the very large big fuck off thing on the back down that little road while some poor bastard hurries alongside lifting up all the wires so you can fit under it, and you want me to stop every other sod going about their business so you don't have to wait? Never mind that, here's a ticket for being a stupid fucking twat now run along before I arrange for you to be locked up in a padded cell you stupid fucking bastard!".

Or something like that anyway.

New balls please!

If you read my other post over on Mancunian Moon you may know that I spent most of the day gardening.

I planted some nice Marigolds around the tree to give it some colour and make it look nice.

About 3 hours after I finished I looked out the window to admire my handy work when I noticed that two of the newly planted flowers had been smashed to pieces!

The culprit was long gone but what I think happened was some kids were playing basketball in the neighbours drive way and missed and only for the ball to land in my new flower bed. Yeah, good shot numb nuts.

I was pretty pissed of as you can imagine but I did the same many times when I was a kid kicking my football over the neighbours fence and they were only $10 for 12 plants so it's not a big deal.

I'd already beheaded one while trying to get it out of the tray anyway so I know they're brittle little things. And to be honest it was digging out the old stuff, clearing out the weeds and adding the soil and mulch that was the hard work, not the planting of the marigolds so I'll let it go this time but if I see anyone hitting them again with they'll think they're at Wimbledon as they'll be needing some new balls please!

It's Rodeo time!

The Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo starts tomorrow.

As far as I'm concerned, rodeos are like fireworks. Once you've seen one you've seen them all but my wife loves the rodeo.

She volunteers on two committees and gets excited around August when the preparations begin even though the rodeo doesn't start until the end of February, beginning of March.

She loves having to recruit other volunteers for the team she is captain of. She enjoys organising socials so they can all meet each other and enjoys arranging training sessions so they all know what they have to do.

She gets excited when she gets to order her new rodeo vest and shirts and loves it even more when they're delivered.

My wife pretty much loves everything to do with the rodeo, until it comes time to actually work there and the night before she has a shift all I hear is: "I don't want to go", "I'm not doing this next year", "I'm tired", or "I'm too busy for this".

At the end of her last shift she is relieved and glad it's all over but by the time it all starts again in August those memories have faded and she's ready to go again.

Yee-haw!

Same old Terry, always cheating

There was a big game today in the English Premier League.

Chelsea v Man City at Stamford Bridge was the first time John Terry and Wayne Bridge had met since the revelations about Terry's affair with Bridge's missus.

All of the pre-match attention was fixed on whether Bridge would shake hands with Terry in the team line ups as is customary before a Premier League game.

Bridge did the expected thing and skipped JT which brought boos from the home fans.

Once the game started, every time Wayne Bridge touched the ball the Chelsea fans booed him. There were even banners saying "Team Terry" to show whose side they were on.

Hang on a minute. John Terry had an affair with the guys girlfriend, the Mother of his children, and you're booing him?? He's the victim here!

Whatever has gone on behind the scenes, Wayne Bridge has behaved with dignity in public and resigned from the England squad earlier this week because he thought his involvement, along with Terry's would be divisive just a few months before the world cup.

Chelsea fans are scum, and the sooner their mega rich owner gets bored with his plaything and moves on sending this horrible little club back into oblivion, the better.

The best part of the game was when Terry brought down a City player just outside the box and the City fans started singing "same old Terry, always cheating".

City went on to win the match 4-2 after Chelsea went down to nine men inflicting the first home defeat on Chelsea for about two years.

All this ringing in my ears is giving me tinitus

I love those cordless phones we have in the house.

My wife just phoned to let me know she's on her way home but I was in the other room so obviously the first place I headed to was the kitchen where the phone is plugged in.

Only it's never there is it?

So then I have to run around the house trying to find it and by the time I do, it's stopped ringing so I start calling her back but it goes straight to her voicemail because she's now ringing me on my mobile, which is in the other room where I was until the house phone started ringing.

By the time I get back to my mobile it's stopped ringing but then I have to wait a few minutes to try phoning her back in case there's another phone in another room she can try first.

This happens every single time.