Fall back and get up an hour earlier than normal

Don't forget to put your clocks back tonight.

As we enter November we have dark nights to look forward to.

On the up side, we allegedly get an extra hour in bed on Sunday morning. Only we don't really. All it means is you end up getting up an hour earlier.

I don't work Sundays, and don't think I ever have, apart from a paper round when I was younger so I wake up when I want on Sundays anyway, although that usually means waking up around the same time as you do during the week as you're so used to getting up early.

I can't lie in bed once I'm awake so I rarely sleep in.

Putting the clocks back an hour would be much more use if it was on a day when most people had to set their alarm to get up, like a Tuesday morning. That way, you really would get the benefit of an extra hour in bed!

Your floppy disk is the least of your worries old man!

Have you seen that advert on the telly for Viagra?

There's a bloke walking down the street when suddenly his reflection in a shop window starts talking to him about his erectile dysfunction.

The reflection suggests that he talks to his doctor about his, no, their "ED".

Now I'm not a doctor, but I would've thought he'd be better off talking to his doctor about his schizophrenia before worrying about anything else. I'm not sure either of them should be having sex until that is sorted out!

What do you mean you don't just blindly agree everything I say? You're banned!

It might just be me but I think there is something extremely undemocratic in the White House's vendetta against Fox News.

I don't see that it is appropriate for the Democrats to publicly state that Fox News is not a news organisation, and should not be treated as such.

It went even further on Thursday when the pool of five major news organisations, ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN & Fox News was reduced to four for a briefing with 'pay czar' Kenneth Feinberg.

See if you can guess which company was uninvited.

The one good thing about this story is the fact that the other four news companies refused to go ahead with the briefing, which would include not broadcasting the views the Democrats wanted the public to hear, if Fox News were not allowed in.

The other companies have also pressed senior White House figures on the issue whenever they have had the chance, including an ABC reporter who quizzed President Obama on the issue.

Obama claimed he wasn't losing any sleep over the issue.

Well of course not. You're trying to discredit a legitimate news organisation purely because they disagree with a lot of your policies!

The White House, the President and his senior advisers do not come out of this well at all. Are they going to try this every time somebody says something they don't like? Is this what democracy is these days?

Maybe the President will one day realise that your friends do not just blindly go along with whatever you do or say. Your real friends will be the ones to tell you when you are wrong.

I'm sure this story will run and run but at the moment I score it:
Fox News 1 The White House 0.

If it makes the news then yes, it has gone too far

Our local news have taken to advertising during tv shows with annoying little pop ups that have a picture of the news readers and a teasing headline designed to get you to watch.

The other day up it popped saying "Teens high school t-shirt. Did it go too far?"

Now, this is just my take on it but if what some kid wore to school made it to the local news then yes, I do believe it went too far.

I could be wrong.

Just share the bloody thing!

Hedgehogs eh?

Why can't they just share the bloody hedge??

Who do you support anyway??

Last week, Manchester played Sunderland at Old Trafford.

There is no rivalry with Sunderland if you're a Manchester United fan.

There is no local rivalry, they haven't been competing for trophey's over the last few...er, ever.

They're even managed by United legend Steve Bruce.

So what I don't understand is why during the game the Sunderland supporters were completely silent, until they suddenly broke into a chorus of "you'll never walk alone'.

As you're probably aware, 'You'll never walk alone' is a song associated with Liverpool FC, who are both local and competitive rivals of Manchester United, and have been for a long time.

Why would you sing another teams song to try and piss off the team you're currently playing? Is it because you are so insignificant that that is the only way you can register and make people notice you're there?

Who do you support anyway?

Get behind your own team, make up your own songs and stop worrying about other teams fans!

Muppets!

That flashing light on the front of your car is not a broken headlight! Use it!

I had to run an errand this morning so as I was pulling out of the neighbourhood, there was a car coming but I didn't want to be like most drivers and pull out regardless and make them brake suddenly so I waited patiently as there was nothing behind it.

As the car approached the road I was about to turn out from, it suddenly slowed down and turned.

This is probably the thing that annoys me more than most about other drivers.

If the car was turning, surely it wouldn't be too much trouble for the person to signal and let me know so I could pull out safely, instead of sitting there waiting only for them to turn at the last minute??

The flashing light on the front of the car is not a broken headlight! It is a signal that lets other drivers know when you are about to make a turn!

The other thing Houston drivers like to do is when you're driving behind them they suddenly slow down to a virtual stop for no reason. What is it? Why are you stopping all of a sudden? Is there a dog in the road? Let me know so I can avoid the obstacle myself.

Oh, you're just turning into that side street? Ok, thanks for letting me know because you were actually stopped in the middle of the road near enough and made me and all the cars behind me stop too wondering what was going on.

The best one though is when you're the only car on the road with nothing behind you for miles, but some stupid ignorant wanker decides he has to pull out in front of you making you slam on your brakes!

Would it really have slowed you down that much if you'd waited 3 seconds for me to pass before pulling out and having the road to yourself??

Muppets!

It's only a bit of rain, grow up and get on with it!

Growing up in Manchester, you get used to the rain.

Living in Houston, you'd think they'd get used to the rain.

Ok, so early summer it might not rain for three months, but is that really long enough to forget how to drive in it?

Whenever it rains, the entire City of Houston comes to a stand still.

During the first rain after a long dry spell, I've seen virtually everyone in the office just stand up and walk over to the window and stare blankly outside as if they're all in a trance.

You also get people who will sit and look out of the window for over an hour just waiting for it to stop long enough for them to make it to their car.

People are actually surprised that I even contemplate leaving when that wet watery stuff is just falling from the sky.

I tell them what I'm going to tell you know.

You don't get far where I'm from being scared to walk in the rain.

Try having no car and having to walk to the nearest bus stop, and then stand there with no shelter alone with the elements hoping that a bus, any bus turns up any minute. Add in the fact that it's below freezing and you can no longer feel your feet and you might get an idea of what it's like in Manchester. In the summer.

Muppets!

Fans do not see you as more of a hero who will love them for all eternity just because you kiss the badge!

There's been a growing trend over the last few years for footballers, mostly those with a habit of moving clubs regularly, running towards the crowd after scoring and kissing the badge on their shirt.

What is that all about?

Cesc Fabregas was at it the other day. After scoring Arsenals 4th goal against Blackburn he ran to the crowd tugging at the badge on his shirt and making a display of kissing it.

Is he trying to tell us he loves the club?

A much easier way would be to declare that he is staying at the club every time Barcelona come sniffing but he doesn't do that.

I would bet a large amount of money that Cesc Fabregas will not be an Arsenal player in 2 year's time.

And it's usually the same way with these badge kissers. They love the club and it's fans as long as they're paying their astronomical wages but as soon as they get a better offer there's a new badge to kiss.

Kissing the badge of a club does not make the fans love you more.

In fact, to real fans, you come across as a bit of a dick, and more of a mercenary who is there for the money but won't admit it.

It's ok, you're allowed to say it

It's very sad when someone dies.

The thing that gets me though is how when people are passing on the news they bet around the bush, afraid to actually say that someone has died.

Instead we get 'they've gone', or 'they've passed'.

Gone where? The hospital's TV room?

Passed what? Wind? A stone?

'He's gone to meet his maker'. Oh that's nice, I bet his parents have missed him.

You can be talking to some about a mutual friend 'moving on' and you're thinking how rude to leave town without saying goodbye, oblivious to the fact that they have died because no one will actually say the word.

It's not a bad word.

It's a very sad event, but however it's worded doesn't change the fact.

When someone dies we have enough to worry about without trying to find new ways to pass on the news without actually saying it.

Selling a few albums and marrying Beyonce does not make you the new Sinatra.

Have you heard Jay-Z's new song "Empire State of Mind"?

It's not actually a bad song, even though it features Alicia Keys singing the chorus.

Basically the song is about being from New York. It's hardly Manchester but we can't all be that lucky.

The thing I have a problem is the line where Jay-Z declares himself the new Sinatra.

Now come on, I think that's a bit much. So you've sold a few records, and you're a successful business man with your own record label, I'm not denying that but the new Sinatra? Really?

There is just no comparison. For a start, I would guess that there a large number of people who have no idea who Jay-Z is, other than Beyonce's husband but do you really think they will be playing his music in 50 years time with every person knowing all the words?