Real news has the night off

I've posted before about the local 'news' and tonight was one of those rare nights where I switch on the TV and before I can put on a dvd or flick through the recordings on my DVR I caught a few seconds of news.

I switched off after a few seconds but unfortunately not before the two (w)anchors introduced themselves before informing me that Greg Hirst has the night off.

I'm sorry...what? Greg Hirst has the night off? Well why didn't you say so? Surely news this fucking groundbreaking should've interrupted all media outlets as soon as it was known? A full page ad in all national newspapers should surely have been taken out the minute his vacation request form was signed?

I have no idea who Greg Hirst is but I'm guessing he's that fella who seems to be the only white person on any of the local news channels in Houston.

Why not take this one step further and actually make Greg's night off the first item on the news? One of the none entities who has just told me their name can tell us all about Greg's night off. "Greg was seen in the Starbucks drive through before heading off to the Target store just off Westheimer. He followed that up with an unbelievable trip to the movies with his wife after shockingly being turned away from Bowl-a-rama as it was senior couples intermediate league night and he hadn't booked a lane. Maybe they could even interview a couple of eye witnesses from the bowling alley to give us the inside story.

And while I'm on, why do they have to tell us their names? I don't give a shit who you are. You're just some muppet reading an autocue wearing very thick make up, thick hair, and even thicker facial expression. And why are all the women seemingly cross eyed? Is it the wonderful make up job or are they trying really hard to read the words while looking both intelligent, sophisticated and sexy all at once?

Newsreaders are not celebrities. We don't tune in to see them. It isn't the Greg Hirst show. His absence doesn't need explaining because it would not be noticed!