Imagine disco night on the mental ward

Last weekend, my Wife and I were invited to a country and western club for a friend's birthday.

This was my first time at such an establishment and I spent pretty much the whole night starring open jawed at the dancefloor.

Now, I've been to quite a lot of clubs in my lifetime but I have never been to one where everyone, and I do mean everyone either dances around the dancefloor in a circle (I believe this is called two-stepping) or in a line.

It seems these people are unable, or unwilling to throw some shapes of their own and everyone has to behave in exactly the same way.

The circle dancing was just bizarre. It was like being at a roller rink watching everyone going round and round.

The line dancing was just like the Thriller video, except some of the women weren't as good looking as the undead. Although that may have had something to do with my sober state.

But the main thing I learnt that night is that there is not a man on this earth who can wear tight jeans, a checked shirt, over sized belt buckle and a stetson and look any other than a simpleton who has been allowed out for the day before returning to a padded room.

I was impressed by one geriatric cowboy though. Apparently it's rude to decline when someone asks you to dance and there was one old timer who took advantage of the situation and spent the whole night with a variety of young fillies on his arm.

Hi-5 to that fella but I hope the rest of them keep taking their medication.

We left around 1.30am but I can only assume that at 2am the short bus arrived to take them all back to the ward.